by Katy Suik | Jan 30, 2018 | Uncategorized
Time and time again, I come across the same dilemma from client to client: “I don’t know if I can do it – the thought of failing is terrifying!” The fear of falling on our faces, appearing a fool, turning out to be a fraud…all of these and more…they keep us stagnant. Women, in particular, are famous for what Valerie Young calls “Imposter Syndrome”. We cling to some bizarre belief that beneath the façade, we’re actually a hoax, an imposter.
Sure, we can delve into all kinds of research on why this is and how it has plagued us for centuries. But the real question becomes: what can we do about it?
The truth is that many of us meander through life waiting for the pivotal moment when our fears and doubts will finally be replaced with unwavering confidence. Sadly, incredible opportunities slip on by as we wait…and wait some more.
Here are 3 things we must do to live our best lives NOW, even when we feel inadequate and undeserving:
Sure, your breathing is laboured, your heart palpitating out of your chest, your legs shaking but all in all, “you must do the thing you think you can’t do” (Eleanor Roosevelt). You’ve heard the old adage, I’m sure: “fake it ‘til you make it”. The story you tell yourself is the single most powerful influence on your success.
If I’ve learned anything in my coaching career, it is this: act now, deliver later. Many a time, I have posted a course, workshop or speech as an upcoming event without a clue as to what I’m going to discuss, how I’m going to present the information or whether or not anyone will show up! The beauty of this process is that my action forces more action! Should I choose to cave into my fear (imposters’ syndrome), I won’t act. And how can I expect to find more confidence without first getting up there to do what I love?
Life isn’t waiting for you to get your confidence in order; life is ready to deliver confidence when you show up!
Despite what our inner critic tells us, it is imperative that we show up for ourselves by starting within ourselves! If you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself, would you have any friends? If the answer is “no”, then something must change. How you treat yourself will pre-determine how others treat you! (We literally teach others how to treat us.) The way you honour yourself (or not) will ultimately determine your level of success.
Watch your inner-speak and honour the value and integrity of who you are as a human being. Contrary to the belief “easier said than done”, being kind to yourself does not need to be difficult. Change your inner dialogue day by day and you’ll see yourself as your loved ones see you. Your gift to others must come from the gift you give yourself.
The dripping irony of becoming more confident and living a meaningful life is that there are no guarantees. None. However, if we choose to embrace personal development as an integral part of our journey, mistakes become lessons and failures become building blocks. Believing your life is a sacred quest where you have the opportunity to evolve into the best possible version of yourself will inevitably strengthen your confidence. Trust in what life needs to teach you; trust in what your relationships will give you and most importantly, begin the process of trusting yourself.
Your life has a time limit. If you’re not living deliberately and with conscious choice, you’re not truly living.
As a Professional Coach, I continuously offer opportunities for personal growth and development. Let’s talk about you and your confidence! What are you doing to get in your own way and how can I help? Let’s have a conversation! Contact me to set up your free discovery call.