To put it bluntly, the feeling was vomit-inducing…
What did I want to become? How would I ever identify my professional calling, feel like I was making a difference, and live out my passion? What was my passion?
I’d completed a University degree and yet, I was no further ahead. I was working as a Student Recruiter at a local College after 3 years of previously doing the job elsewhere. I’d grown to hate it. I began to feel underchallenged, bored and discouraged. It all felt so…pointless. My heart screamed at me: “I hate this! Get me out of here!” I was suffocating.
There was nothing to stoke the fire in my belly.
I felt lost and misplaced like a fish out of water. It all felt so empty, barren and dissatisfying. How had I missed the mighty ship of purpose and fulfilling work?
In the beautiful distraction of becoming a mom and having our first two children in the span of two years, I was temporarily able to pocket the problem. However, in preparation for returning to work after Baby #2, I was told I’d been bumped out of my position. I panicked, I cried, I became sick to my stomach with worry.
But in those moments, I heard a voice whisper internally: “Katy, is this really a loss when you hate the job so much?” I knew it wasn’t. Yet I wanted the security. Who wouldn’t?
Forced to ask myself the deeper question, “what do you really want?”, I prayed for clarity. In my research, I discovered Life Coaching as an industry – immediately, I was hooked. Fortunately, the job situation worked out. I moved into an administrative role for less hours so I could spend time on my studies and still have time for my kids.
Let’s be honest: I hated that job too. But here’s where things really shifted…I was working towards something. My education and training was building excitement. In light of that, the job was only a bridge to something greater. Eventually Baby #3 came along swiftly after I graduated from my training program at the International Coach Academy. And leaving on maternity leave, I was able to embrace an uncertain future with the security of knowing my job would be there when I returned.
The thing is, I didn’t go back. I stepped into faith. I also knew working at my job and paying for childcare for three small children wouldn’t make sense financially. I walked away and took a terrifying leap into entrepreneurship.
I won’t lie to you…it was hard. I was naïve in believing that I could land myself clients quickly and easily. For all the training I received, the missing piece was how to run a business. I was clueless. Even then, when I lost money between the business and the reality of us living on a single income, I held on to the faith that I was meant to do this. It HAD to pay off.
Over 6 years later, I still find myself dangling in uncertainty and often without knowing where my next paycheque will come from. Feelings of insecurity and fear overwhelm me at times. No one ever said this would be easy. No one could have prepared me for the level of resilience required.
Yet would I trade this soul-filling work with the security and comfort of a real paying “job”?
So how does one kind of hardship trump the other? It’s the one built on passion – the key ingredient for moving ahead. Without passion and the utter belief that I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing, I would have walked away a very long time ago. And so, I will continue to ride the waves of discomfort and unknowns to honour my calling. Being true to me and to my purpose is non-negotiable.
Perhaps your work is fine but you wish you could move into something you love? Maybe you’d like to explore other opportunities or avenues? And perhaps all you want is simply to improve and tweak your current job in order to create more passion in what you do?
See, the pain I once felt of not knowing how to cultivate the flame inside me is the tool I use to help others today. Don’t believe, for one minute, that your work doesn’t mean something. You have purpose. There is passion inside of you, whether you’ve untapped it or not.
Let’s get real, let’s explore and let’s help you build a life of possibility and freedom. You deserve no less!Katy, please help me create meaningful work!